Old Moosa Bhai had been worried lately. His income tax case had been pending before the lady I.T.O. and he needed it to be decided in his favor since the next date of filing returns was only a couple of weeks away. He had paid money under the table to everyone in her department, yet his case was still undecided. “You’ll have to speak to madam yourself,” said the lady officer’s assistant. Moosa Bhai knew what this meant. “Why don’t you take the bribe money from me and give it to her?” he asked the assistant. “No way,” was the reply. “She’s the niece of a VVIP, and if she’s offended, she’ll have me transferred to a place like Chichawatni where there’d be no chance of earning more than my measly salary, which isn’t enough to buy petrol for my car,” said the assistant.
The old man wished there was some other way to persuade the powerful lady, but when he saw there was no other alternative, he sent in his card and was invited into her office. He said, “My file’s been lying on your table for two months now, yet my case hasn’t been decided.” She opened the file, looked inside and said, “This will take some more time.” Old Moosa Bhai cleared his throat, ran his fingers through his luxuriant white beard and said, “I understand. So I’ll pay you what I gave the officer who was in your seat last year”. She pretended to be shocked. “You think I want a bribe from you?” she yelled. “Here, I’m deciding your case right now in your favor. And don’t ever offer me money to do something for which I’m paid by the government.” The old man knew it couldn’t be that easy. “When will I get the signed order?” he asked. “You’ll get it in a couple of days,” she said.
Three days later a man arrived with the signed order. “How much?” asked the old man. “Five thousand for me, fifty thousand for her,” he said. “That’s too much!” exclaimed Moosa Bhai. “In the national bathroom, everyone is naked,” the man said with a smile.
Winning the war against terrorists
SHAKIR LAKHANI (KARACHI)
LETTER (October 25 2009): We cannot win the war against the terrorists unless and until each one of us, including our leaders, is willing to make personal sacrifices. I do not mean that we should offer to blow ourselves up as the militants are doing. But at least we can make a start by paying our due taxes.
How much income tax do our feudals pay every year? Are they ready to curb expenses and cut down on unnecessary foreign trips? We should be like the rich Germans who have asked their government to impose a 5% tax on their wealth. Do our feudals have this spirit? If they do, there is no need to beg the US for aid to win the war.
Copyright Business Recorder, 2009
Now let me be clear about this (as Obama would say): I’ve got nothing against kissing, particularly if it’s between men and women. It’s the kissing of men by men that I find offensive, even if it’s done in months other than Ramadan. But the recent publicizing of a case in which a LUMS girl playfully pecked a boy’s cheek (when she thought no one was looking) has again generated adverse publicity for the country (something it could do without). So what happened? Another student hiding somewhere photographed the scene and distributed it throughout the world, which led to LUMS permanently banning kissing of boys by girls (and vice versa).
Of course, the fact that the incident took place during the month of fasting made it worse. You can’t kiss your boyfriend (or even your husband or brother) when you’re fasting, as all of us know. But suppose the two were not fasting? As I just said, they thought they were alone and no one could see what they were doing. I agree that kissing in public cannot be tolerated by the average Pakistani, who in any case is terribly disturbed whenever he sees a woman (especially if she’s not covered by a burqa).
However, I don’t mind it when a man kisses his wife or his daughter at the airport when one of them is leaving the country. That kind of thing happens all the time (sometimes even at railway stations). But LUMS should also have banned kissing between men and men (and also between girls and girls, since I assume there are some females who would find it terribly offensive). In the meantime I’m waiting for some Saudi/Waziristan mullah to issue a fatwa banning kissing between husbands and wives even when they’re alone in their bedrooms.
Why do mullahs hate women so much? I know many clerics who’re infuriated when they see women driving or working in offices. For some strange reason, Saudi Arabia doesn’t allow women to drive or go out of their houses without being accompanied by a close male relative (like a son or brother or husband). I can understand this kind of thinking among illiterate men who think women are agents of Satan. But this is the twenty first century and most Muslims don’t believe that allowing women any freedom poses a danger to their religion or culture.
So today I was surprised to read that an Iranian cleric (Grand Ayatollah Lotfollah Safi Golpayghani) has warned the government there not to appoint women as governors of provinces (I’d always thought Iranian mullahs were not as illiterate as their Pakistani counterparts). I’d like to mention here that Pakistan has had women governors, ambassadors and even a prime minister, although the Jamaat-e-Islami violently reacted when someone proposed that women should drive buses (even though in some areas of Karachi and Lahore more women than men are seen driving cars).
Talking about the Iranian mullah (Daily Times, 16th October 2009), he is reported to have said that “God will be furious if women become governors.” I’d like to know how he came to this conclusion. I have found nothing in the Holy Koran or the Hadith to support this view.
It’s unbelievable that there are people in the U.S. who still think marriages between black and white people should not be allowed, but that is the belief of Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish (Louisiana, U.S.A.). The man thinks such marriages do not last long (Mr. & Mrs. Barack Hussain Obama, please note). He asks everyone who call about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he refuses to allow their marriage.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most members of black society do not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said. Beth Humphrey (a white U.S. woman) wanted to marry Terence McKay (a black American man), but Mr. Bardwell did not agree to sign their marriage license.
The couple says they will consult the U.S Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint.
